How to Lose Food and Alienate Servers

If you want to leave a little bit bigger footprint on the earth, visit a restaurant. At least, this is the conclusion I've come to after several observations throughout my recent dining-out experiences.

But I figured out a way to cheat the system a little bit. And no, despite this blog post title, you still get the same amount of food and, usually, the same good (or bad?) service. For me, the only guilt I come home with is how much I probably stuffed myself, not the envorinmental impact I made throughout my meal.

The only sacrifice you may have to make is a small slice of pride, as you will receive strange stares and perhaps a raised eyebrow or two.

So this is what I am trying to implement into my regular dining-out routine:

1. Ask for no water. This is how it always goes: your server asks you what you would like to drink. You say, "just water, thanks," he or she promptly brings it to you, and it sits there sweating all over the table throughout the whole meal. You maybe take two or three sips out of it, probably only because it's sitting there and you're bored waiting for your meal.

• If you are in the minority of people who actually do suck down all their iced tap water with a straw, then you may ignore this entire suggestion, and keep on suckin'.
• Consider our water crisis. Why do famous actors tell us in PSAs that if we want to conserve water, we should turn off the tap while brushing our teeth. Think about how much water was wasted from sitting at all the tables you've dined at in your life, and don't forget about my favorite superfluous staple, ice!
• And while we're on the topic of superfluous things...straws. Talk about a complete waste of energy and resources. Have we devolved so much that we can't pick up our cups with our hands and drink from the rim anymore?
• There is plenty of evidence indicating that drinking water during your meal isn't even a good idea anyway. Drinking water dilutes the enzymes in your food, stomach and saliva, making it harder to digest. Get hydrated before and after your meal.

2. Bring your own container for leftovers. This one gets the best reactions. How many meals do you actually finish from a restaurant? Ok, I have a voracious appetite too. But sometimes I want to save the rest for lunch tomorrow.

• Let's not even get started about the amount of waste that results in take-out containers. It gets worse when you think about the fact that most take-out containers are made out of styrofoam, which is difficult to recycle and no recycling facility that I know of in the Flint area accepts it. It goes straight to the landfill.
• To add insult to injury, we are often given plastic bags to put our take-out containers in. Again with the can't-use-our-hands-anymore phenomenon.
• The only hard part about bringing your own container is actually remembering to bring it, so I always keep a couple of them in my car as back-up in the case of an impromptu lunch, or a slip of memory. I even wrote on the lids: "CAR" so that after I washed them I would remember to put them back in the car.
• It's fun to leave your plate half full, then put the rest in your container, then watch how confused your server will be when she comes back, wondering where your food went.

3. Order vegetarian.   :)